Secret of the January babies..

It may sound like a title for a movie, or a book for teenagers, not really it is just something that a person tagged me on facebook. The study on our attitudes and behaviors based on the month we were born. There are a lot of studies that were done for that theory, so I am just sharing what Dato' Fadzilah has concluded for those who were born in January. Whether to believe it or not depend on individual. 

January born

1. Highly ambitious, serious, like to teach and be taught (Well now I am a lecturer)

2. Easy in identifying other people weaknesses and like to critic (so true)

3. Hardworking and tend to bring profit in whatever they do. (Still pokai je)

4. Attracted to beauty, neatness and organization (I am an avid supporter of chaos theory)

5. Suave (?????)

6. Sensitive and tend to think too critically and too in depth. (yup..ngee).

6. Timid unless provoke (hmmm……)

7. Shy and has a high level of concentration (Anyone think this is true, raise your hand)

8. Easily to discipline oneself (Army brat  - has a lot of practice in this)

9. Healthy body but has a high tendency for flu. (Healthy body…sngt2)

10. Romantic but reserved (Am I?)

11. Love children (Children do not like me)

12. Homely type (When I am financially decapitated)

13. Loyal in everything (Undeniable)

14. Need to learn social skills (Guess so)

15. Jealousy at its best. (Never has the chance to test this theory)

Most of the traits mention may describe me indirectly but if you asked me, I may say it differently, if you asked other, they may have a different answer. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", - so the most beautiful thing about you is you.

Always the Bridesmaid never the Bride.

What is so wrong with being opinionated, with being independent? I am tired of people passing me off just because of that reason, especially in my relationship. "It's not you, it's me", “We can be best of friend but we can never be a couple" "I care for you but not too that extend", after constantly asking for the real reason, it is concluded under one simple statement " You can survive without relying on anyone, that is intimidating". This is not the year of our parents, in which a woman can only be perceived as a housewife, in some marriage there are equality, I like that. I like reading to a friend's blog about her husband cooking for her, and pampering her after a hard day work, alternately taking care to the need of their children, and she is doing the same. 

I am writing this entry because I am fed up with reasons that were given, and I am deciding to actually forget about being in a relationship, because I can't change who I am. I will try to adapt in order for it to work but it must be a two ways communication. A relationship involve two individuals with equal take on its direction, it is not about my way or the highway (in which for me is a very kiasu train of thoughts).   

The Best Thing about me is YOU

I listened to Ricky Martin's new song, it intrigued me the first time I saw a part of the video clip on astro while I was relaxing at home. So, I look it up and viewed the full version of the video clip. It is not your typical Ricky Martin, the macho side in which  women go gaga just looking at him shacking his hip, this is a another version, more laid back, and for me it is an inspiring video clip. It focus on positivity on how we should look at the world from a different perspective, it is more on equality, in life and in love, co-existing among races and religion and even sexual preferences. Besides the positive message in the lyrics, there are also positive messages in the clip written all over the white board throughout the music video. It may not be anyone's cup of tea, it maybe bland, some may think that it is just the same like any other motivational songs. But I love the video clip (",).  Like Ricky Martin said "Life is short, so make it what you wanna"

Spring cleaning.. (",)

I did a little spring cleaning last Sunday, in which it covered the whole aspect of my life. First order of business is cleaning my room, second would be my email and finally my hand phone. 

Cleaning my room is a major thing for my mom because I am finally making my room more lady like. Like she said before it looks like a pig stile even the pig can't find its way out. Well, it comes to mother; everything is not at satisfactory level unless they are the one that are doing the cleaning. Today's entry is not about mothers, it’s about finally deciding which one is garbage or trash and which one is precious and priceless. I am what you call as a classic hoarder in which I tend to collect things that I think is important at first but in the end it is nothing but trash. I cleared out all the shirts, dresses and baju kurung that don't fit me anymore or the one that I accidentally ruined when ironing (high tendency in that),  exam papers, quizzes, assignments from my students from my previous employment, junks from my university years, God knows why I am keeping it, I cleared 4789 emails from my mail that I have been keeping in the hope to cherish the memories but with no avail and finally I deleted all the messages in my hand phone that I kept so that I can read it over and over again, either to feel happy or sad. This entire thing may signify that I am ready to move on. I guess it is not wrong to keep all those mementoes as a medium to remember what we have in the past, but when it becomes overwhelming maybe it is time to cleared out everything and start fresh. Memories will always be there as long as we want them to be, but we must also try to make room for something new, adding more color to our existing colorful life. 

Well, it took me 6 hours to clear everything and that night I sleep soundly in my new clean room, not bad. (",)

Weekend time!!!

I plan to take time out from my computers starting today until Monday. Now, it seems like I am glued to the monitor day in and day out, having a very active imagination, I am picturing myself waiting anxiously for any reply on my screen, waiting for any friends to be online so that I chat, and harvesting and tending to my virtual world in which I am very - very rich. Well, sometimes I do missed the life I have before internet and hand phone existed, the time of sending letters, and going out enjoying the moment and the company of friends. Now we do that also, but normally, instead of cards, SMS and being tagged on face book are the trends, going out with friends, but having them and also myself busy looking at the phone screen for SMS from others. I guess the more advanced we are on technology the lesser we value human touch. But on the other hands, called me indecisive (If you want), sometimes the real world is too scary and too stressful to be handle so escaping into our make believe world is the only option we have, in which everything can be settle just by a click of a button. The world is at your fingertip. 

Have a nice weekend everyone. Take time to enjoy the company of our friends and family. The one we can hear their laughters, hold their hands and pats their back. (",). Avoid to poke them online. 

Matters of the heart.

Next week would be a year since I broke up with my "so called" boyfriend, I have move on, but he is still stuck. I have given him so many chances to make sure that our relationship can be saved but he kept making the same mistake. The feeling of insecurity and jealousy are the reasons why we broke up, and he keeps trying to change me, from who I am. I can change but not with a blink of an eye. Matters of the heart are a bit complicated even the wise of people are also lost for words when it comes to this issue. 

Honestly, I suck, when it comes to relationship, it seems like everything I do and how I act is wrong. Maybe I am jinx, like most of my aunts and uncles said "mandi bunga" and everything would be fine, but that is only superstitious, in which I am not an avid believer. For me what meant to be is meant to be. 

It doesn't matter if you are married, single, or widowed, what's important is that you feel blessed with your life, grateful for the health, family and friends. If that is how you feel, you are the richest person in the world. I guess I am a billionaire, in my own way. 

Surprise!!!

Lately lots of surprises were occurring all around me. Take for example last week, the experience of being stuck in  the flood that shock the whole nation, got a police report on missing person, for me and my car (Thanks to my mum) and was chosen as an Emcee for KPJ 15th Convocation (Thanks to my head of department). I never thought that I would be given the opportunity to host such an auspicious occasion; it is such a feeling of accomplishment. Hehehehe.... (Patting myself on the shoulder). I guess I was right, 2011 have set a different beat and path for me in life, and I am doing things that I never thought I was capable off. All my life, people underestimate what I can do, I was never the person people would say "She's the one" I was only "the go to guy" when things need to be settle or problem need to be solved, the backstage crew.

Being stuck in the flood is a very humble feeling, because I spend two days helping my friends at her shop / restaurant as her staff, cleaning tables, washing plates and cups and serving customers. Being an emcee for convocation is a proud moment, to be "the lady of the hour" for the whole program, and managed to pull it off in such a short notice. (You won't believe how short). So I experienced two different feelings for me was life changing. I am loving my life, my family and especially myself even more.

And one more surprise, Suzie will welcome to her family a baby boy, a little hanif and I believe she would be an awesome mother, because she is an awesome friend to me since the first day we met. (",). Congrats to Mdm. Julie Marlina Hassan too....

Silent resolutions.

I have tried year after year to set resolutions and to achieve each one that I have set and plan. But, I managed not to fulfill them excellently, so many times until I eventually lost counts of how many excuses and justification I came out with for not fulfilling them. Some of justifications may not be logic, but I don't stop to think about it, for me as long as I have reason not to do what I have plan, then it's acceptable. All I managed to conclude out of these failures is that if we tell ourself those reasons continuously, we may accept them as the truth, but in reality it is the opposite. So, this 2011, I am trying my best to achieve the resolutions that I have silently set during my birthday. What I can share is that, it has to do with my future as well as myself development; everything is starting to fit the places in which I hope and pray that the outcome will be as beautiful as I imagine it to be.

Food + Friends = Fun

Tonight, I hang out with my ex-students, those who I am close with. Even though I am their ex-lecturer our relationship is close to an extent that they became my extended family. We talked about a lot of things our past experience, and memories together, our current and present life, and as well our future to come. We sat over burgers and carbonated drinks, and just have the time of our life. Eyes were staring, fingers were pointing but it seems like we were in our own world, when I look around most of the patrons were just like us, talking, chatting, laughing, joking and even surfing the net but all are being done with the company of friends. All I can say is that Food + Friends = Fun is an equation that can put a smile on anyone's face. 

Unforgettable adventure

29th January 2011 marked my last day in JB. For the past 2 months I have learnt a lot from all aspect of life, and how I missed my family despite all the bragging of finally moving out of the house. All the freedom in the world can never replace my mum's cooking, my dad's words of wisdom, my sister's iron claws, and my youngest demands for clothing and make up. I miss the hustle bustle of arguments, discussion, comments of television shows that we watched. My journey home was a movie plot by itself, series of unfortunate events occurred and some may found it a bit unbelievable. 

My journey back home (Chronologically)

Sunday (30^th January 2011)

• Started my journey back to my hometown around 11. And it was raining cats and dogs, but I was determined to surprise my parents on that day. 
• Exited at Segamat, due to the reason I have to send a friend of mine to Gemas (great to have company when travelling back).
• Lost my wipers due to being splashed by an incoming bus from the opposite direction, and I was also soaked with God knows what type of water (rain + drainage + potholes + maybe more than that).
• Took shelter at a friend's house.

My unfortunate events did not stop there, it continued and spiral to more unexpected events. 

Monday (31^st January 2011)

• None of her family members have a Nokia hand phone charger which left me batteries less (bear in mind I am not good in memorizing numbers). 
• Managed to get a charger, and was taken off that privilege due to blackout of the entire town.
• Water supply was cut off the same day.

Tuesday, (1^st February 2011)

• Managed to drive out of Gemas at 11.30 a.m.
• Surprised my mum and dad, in which I was nagged for causing them heartache and headache for the past 2 days.

The best part was, my mum called my office in Nilai, then JB, when everything failed they filed a police report in search for their missing daughter (me of course).