Kiss!Kiss!

desperate much?

Don't leave me hanging...

Things people do that makes me wonder.
What can this little penguin do? Makes the car go faster.. 

Sun -Shiny day

6.50 a.m.
The view before I was off for work today. 

Please!!!!!

I know I can't write this out as my status on facebook, so I am venting it out in my blog.

"Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! The day I call you "kakak" is the day I tender my resignation".

Manners

Yesterday, my family organized an event with food, lots and lots of food, it was my family annual open house. The crowds started to flood the festivity at 4.00 p.m. and it continued until 12.00 midnight. As usual, it was a hectic day, the last final was friends of my youngest sister, most of them used to be my ex - students. I did told my sister to avoid being friend with them due to several issues at my previous employment. But as my mum often remind us, "treat our guest with respect, and entertain with full of hospitality no matter what their background are". Being good hosts, all my sisters did just that, they served dessert first while attending to the main course. In the process my third sister overheard one of the guest (the last crowd) said "Takde budget ke, smpaikan letak pisang dalam food salad". And it did not stop there, because he kept complaining, mumbling, and was rude even to us as host. 

In my mind at that time was "Giler kurang ajar, I do hope that you are an orphan, so that your parents would not die out of shame due to your attitude" Youngsters nowadays, eager to grow up, that they tend to forget the existence of important thing such as manner. 

Snuze & Suzy, thank you for coming...My mum pesan, do come again!!!

I am sad

I conducted a program for 320 students today, to share with them the important of English and how it can improve our life. I am sad, that all I can sum at the end of the program, to see that mostly Malay students are the one who acted like clowns, who has the mindset that it is a useless language, and their ignorance is just too appalling for me.

I don't blame the teachers, they try their best with limited space for exploring other methods due to constraint of syllabus and bureaucracy.

I am sad that nothing much has changed throughout the years, the peer pressure that I experience among my friends in school are still the basis that impedes students self development. The eagerness to please, and being popular among friends are more important than their future. There are others that knows how far the language can affect and change their life, but they may have second thoughts and just give up.

I am sad. "Melayu melayukan melayu".

Owh well

Since I was in school my style of writing attracted a lot of attention as well caused me few problems here and there. For me its normal, but for other, they tend to gawk and made me feel like a freak show at times. I need to turn my book upside down everytime I write, I have problem in doing drawings in my engineering drawing class, and I have to buy a special pen just for calligraphy.  My ex lecturer during my matriculation years once actually stopped and stared at me writing, and she actually said, "Cacat ke?" In which made the whole class laughed. And that was the last time being left handed actually bruised my self esteem. After that, I tend to ignore any curious eyes and any annoying questions. 

But tonight, I sat next to a stranger in my class, she glimpsed from the corner of her eyes when I started to write, and actually said "No one corrected you before ke, when you were young?", I said excuse me, she said "Yelah, when you were young no one corrected the way you write? Owh well, it's owkey, you turn out just fine".

I looked at her with a puzzled expression on my face, is it that bad being left handed?

Yeah, unfortunately.

Some people I know are thatch tree, those who are wondering what is that, it is known as 'lalang'. They flip more often than a coin does, and never have a firm stand on any issue, they may support you at first then change their mind if their "ass" are on  the line. Sometimes I wish I could just pick up a weed wacker and just trim them off, unfortunately murder will never be legalize here in Malaysia. Yeah, I know, unfortunately.

trim them all! show no mercy.. hehehehe (psychotic side of me)

Movies!!!!

I would like to sum up the movies I watch recently in fewer words as possible.

Date watched : 5th September 2011
Words describing : Cliche, predictable and over exaggerated death scenes.
Recommendation : Better wait to be shown on ASTRO.

Date watched : 16th September 2011
Words describing : Slow, interesting and space like cloverfield or blair witch project.
Recommendation : Worth watching but have to be patience with the story line, the first half an hour can bore you to death.

Rumor has it...

Rumors do spread like wildfire, and sometimes if hurts more than it helps. Currently I befriended a staff here where I work, she is from a different department, a very bubbly, cheerful and friendly young woman. So we do talk a lot, and recently there was a rumor about her that was conveyed to me by a male staff, that she is playing for the other side (a.k.a lesbian). I was intrigued with the rumor not that it is my business to pry on other people personal lifestyle, but she doesn't seem to be the type. So yesterday I asked her in person, she looked at me, shocked and stunned. She went quiet for a while then she said "I am seeing someone, and we have been together for 3 years, InsyaAllah next year we will be engaged, I did not tell this to anyone at work because for me it is none of their business".

We continued to talk about the rumor and after filling in few missing pieces, it seems like the rumor was started by one of my male colleague who has the heart for her, but was turned down and rejected. He was unsatisfied with the outcome since he has made it official by spreading the news of their so called relationship to most of the people at work. My friend distant herself from him to avoid further misunderstanding and accepted the offer to carpool  home with a lady friend instead. 

*Puff* thus begin the story that start with "rumor has it ........................"

And people are spreading the rumor around. To those people, my word of wisdom would be "Get a life" and for the man who started this rumor "Take it like a man, when a woman says NO it means NO".

Reflection

"The reflection of love is to let those we love to be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them" 

(Thomas Merton)

Trapped

"Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment . There is no why" (Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.)

Let there be light.

'Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow' (Helen Keller)

(17 / 9 / 2011 - Port Dickson)

Untamed Beauty

"No object so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly" - (Oscar Wilde)

Names

no nose, no name, kitty, tupai, tupi, horlick, ferero roche, milo, cadbury, zip, naome, tigger, pooh, kuntum, tupai jr., ariel emmanuel ortega, kaka, kiki, blackie, bongsu, tipah, noel, odie, morning, afternoon, night and midnight.

Names of my cats, the one that I can remember. *meow*

Why bother

My colleague asked me yesterday, "How can you stand sitting in the same room with the person who doesn't even like you? Out of everyone here, you are the only one I met that can actually do that." I just smiled back, but what choice do I have, the place has been designated with my name written on it. I admit that even though it's only been a week, it is not easy. People that came to my room to have a conversation will end up being poached by "akak"that leave zero room for me to participate in the conversation, and in the end, I would do my own work. "Akak" is also trying to make my life as hard as "akak" can, taking classes from other people and passing it to me, despite objections for the lecturer themselves and "akak" was pissed when one of my colleague actually volunteered to take one class off my hand because I am currently a bit packed.

I do wonder how I can actually survive in that environment, I am by nature a very talkative individual. I guess why bother too much in pleasing a person who doesn't like you, just a waste of my time and energy. I am in my own world, I do my job, I clock in and I clock out...so why bother?

"The way I see it is, the more people that hate me, the less I have to get along with". 

Look at me!!!

Giving her mom quite a headache, she is a photo diva... (pantang nampak kamera)

I spy with my little eye...

Conscious choice

What we want to do,
What we want to be,
What we don't want to do and don't want to be,
Should be a matter of conscious choice.


"To think what to do with our life is a luxury"

My V.C. words of encouragement the first day she addressed all the staff. I don't know why, now, I can see her wither away, drowning in all the bureaucracy that perceive her and the post she hold only for its name, having all those power only to be cast aside. 

What a waste of her talent, her enthusiasm, and her passion. 

New day.. (",)

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts" - (Eleanor  Roosevelt)

The shadowy reflection of my window on the wall during sunrise.

Akak ke??

I am "trying" to write only positive things on my blog but at times it is hard to actually stick to what have been intended. Previously several issues arise that contribute to the drama between me and my head a.k.a. friend, and things were getting personal. Last week I moved from my small room to a bigger office that can fit the entire staff of my department, and unfortunately, I was placed in the same room with my head. In my attempt to clear the air since we are sharing a room, I started a casual conversation, her respond put me at awe, she said "Can you not start any conversation with me by using "aku" and "kau", I am not comfortable to actually converse with you in that level". (Bear in mind we used to talk that way before the confrontation). 

I discussed this issue with H, and shared my theory that she is trying to make me call her "kakak" due to that is what the other junior staff are calling her, and this morning that theory has been proven!! As she said "nanti ikut AKAK g jumpa v.c"

Akak ke?????? My arse. 

Childhood.

"If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older" 

(Tom Stoppard)

The light

"Imagination is everything, it is the preview of life coming attraction" (Albert Einstein)

P.M.R

Looking at my student's post it, I remembered my experience in surviving PMR. Slaying hours after hours in front of books, and exercises, and my father vicious yet so caring threats. 

It's Monday....

The first thing that caught my attention on Monday morning

Get a dog!!

I don't get some men, especially malay men. This is my two cents in relations on some of the issues "If you want someone your can order around, someone who will obey your every command, and someone you can put on a short leash, my thought is, just get yourself a dog!".

(To a man who believes marriage is only a one way street) - peace - 

P/s : My friend was right, it is hard to find a man who is intellectually sexy. 

Gam kan je!!

I have this 4 years old nephew, he often cause his mother a bit of a heartache, and I also contribute to that part, because my cousin is paranoid that her son will be more feminine than his new born sister. So she tried her best to coach him to be more mannish. 

Well, he likes to help my aunt a.k.a his grandmother out with house chores, as well as doing a bit of sewing. So on the eve of raya, he occupied himself with my dad's new pair of baju melayu, and accidentally snipped off one leg of the pants. His grandmother frantically panicking because it is a brand new baju melayu. And said to him:

Grandma : Kimi, nape potong seluar atuk!!!

Kimi (smiling back) : Nenek jangan ah bising, kan boleh gam je. 

And he actually tried to glue it back again. Innocently of course. 

Siszilla

Have you ever heard of siszilla? Well if you haven't, you should meet my eldest sister. She is the perfect rendition of that term. If a bride goes berserk, we called her bridezilla, so if my sister starts to be so authoritative she become siszilla, in which this condition will prolong till the end of raya. My sister tends to dictate things, even till where we are headed for raya, and how we (my siblings and I) should behave or talk. I guess most women tend to stress themselves out when it comes to festive celebration.

I had a lot of practice to be around a perfectionist and an authoritative, thus making me numb to most of the dramas thrown by other "Zillas" out there. More than 20 years of practice. Hehehe...  (Now I am practically hiding in my room to avoid the wrath of siszilla)

So to all out there, chill, relax and enjoy the holiday!!!!

Thank God!

I love visiting relatives during raya, it is the time to get to know my extended family members, new nieces or nephews but sometimes even I would lost track with the names due to the increasing numbers year by years. But tonight I am totally grateful that reunion like this only exist once a year. I am pissed with the action done by an uncle of mine. My sister and I are the eldest in our string of cousins, and we are the only one that are not married. He came to us, and forced us in front of our relatives, as well as my mother, to go and meet with an "Imam" who is from "Mekah" that is currently staying at my aunt's house, and he said that "Go and see him and ask him to pray for you to get married". I was a bit stunned with his words but his action made me so pissed, he actually took my hand and literary dragged me out from where I was sitting. And repeatedly saying "Go so you can get married". 

Instead of indulging  to his quite awkward request I walked out of the room and waited for my family in my the comfort of my car. Things like this make me thankful that reunion only happened during on festive occasions. Thank God.