Venting out!!

Need to vent out..so here goes !@!@#!@$!@$#%$^^*()((EW^%$^%$%$#@@#~!!!!! - owkey done. Feel much better.

Glued

Since early December, I found myself glued to my chair in front of my laptop every night finishing my assignments and take home exam. However, even though all classes related tasks have been submitted, I am still glued to my chair and in front of my laptop every night, tying up loose end.  And I am doing the same at work, marking exam papers, quizzes, assignments, finalizing students' paper works, documentations for the school (minutes & exam papers) and etc. It is not that I don't have a social life, I do, but I would end up in front of my laptop, glued to my chair after I had my fun. 

At least I am blogging in between to make sure that I am still sane. Any how things are getting better. (",) 

I am single, but I am happy. Hehehehe. 

Hey there

Hey there....care to catch up?

Secrets

I send an email to myself, venting out on all the things that currently hammering me down. As much as I love my family, telling them the issue I am facing will only take me away from what I have planned. I am not running away from my family, I am trying to build something for myself. My mum keeps on saying she is not against it but it doesn't sound convincing, my dad keeps on giving options that is not in favor of  me, and looking at my sister, how they would struggle if I actually proceed with my decision. Even though everyone seems nonchalant about it, there is a tiny voice in my head that keep on saying "your decision is affecting others". It can easily be resolved just with me saying yes and pulling the back the letter that I sent. 

There was one question, I never think too much about the answer "When is the time that you would actually feel lonely?" You can be in a room with a lot of people, friends and family, but you feel like you are standing there all alone. I think right now I am in that place, I miss the time someone actually hug me and let me cry on  (........) shoulder and say to me, "things will get better, I promise, and I will always be there for you". Hmm, I guess I am just overwhelmed with emotions, that I feel I need someone to make it better. Now I know how hard it is living with secrets, a lot that I wanted to share but I can't.

Come on Naz, things will get better, just have faith.... (",). And D has been nothing but very supportive. I am grateful, thank you. 

Chin up

I am screwed!!!!! Chin up.

New life

Went out yesterday, and met some new friends. It was a very interesting gathering. After the gathering, D and I went in search of my new house (not actually a house, just a small flat) hehehe.  I was doing the driving, as if I know where the place is,and D was patiently giving me suggestion so that our search would be more efficient. Finally we found the place, and according to D, it is my new bachelor pad. Looking at the place made me remember the plan I made previously when I was seeing someone, "Our little home plan". It would be an awesome project for both of us but now it would be an awesome project for me, a start of my new life.

D is an awesome friend, I know she was irritated with my poor sense of direction but  she stick with it through thick and thin. Thank you babe!!! Hugs!

*Sniff*

I hate being sick. It impedes me from doing my work, to think logically and even to have appetite to eat. And my voice like my colleague said sounded like a chipmunk or daffy duck. Hopefully this is not going to be for long. *Sniff* 

Paranoid.

Colleague A: "Last year she roughed you up pretty bad, with back to back classes, examination classes I might add, and non stop marking examination papers in which each classes is more than 100. Plus she stirred up trouble for you with the academics as well as  the management" 

Colleague B: "You build a very thick wall, that you can actually stand sitting in a room with her and not talking and what good about you is that you never gave in to the pressure that were put on you"

Those were one the responses that I received from my colleagues when they started talking about me leaving, and my strained relationship with a.k.a.k. 

Naz: "I don't hate her, it is just that we are not talking. We can never see eye to eye on things."

Listening to them telling me about last year, made me smile. I am glad that finally people are seeing the truth, and I am happy to know that I wasn't paranoid when I felt like I was gunned down and being the target of someone's unspoken and unresolved issues. 

Malay Language

I am finishing a translation assignment for a book, trust me,  I am struggling since my Malay vocabulary is not that comprehensive. However I am reading it and interpreting it based on my own understanding. My track record of my Malay language achievements since schools are not something that I can be proud of. My mum often made fun about my Malay especially my writing. When I showed her my SPM result which was great but when she saw what I got for my Malay Language, she looked at me, shook her head and said "Anak negro celop, BM pun cukup - cukup makan" she laughed out loud, leaving me with a very clueless expression.

p/s : Thanks D, and littlemisssunshine for keeping me company when I was doing my work. You guys were great distractions.

Sleepyhead

Dodo

Kankan 

This is how my cats spend their day.