Secrets

I send an email to myself, venting out on all the things that currently hammering me down. As much as I love my family, telling them the issue I am facing will only take me away from what I have planned. I am not running away from my family, I am trying to build something for myself. My mum keeps on saying she is not against it but it doesn't sound convincing, my dad keeps on giving options that is not in favor of  me, and looking at my sister, how they would struggle if I actually proceed with my decision. Even though everyone seems nonchalant about it, there is a tiny voice in my head that keep on saying "your decision is affecting others". It can easily be resolved just with me saying yes and pulling the back the letter that I sent. 

There was one question, I never think too much about the answer "When is the time that you would actually feel lonely?" You can be in a room with a lot of people, friends and family, but you feel like you are standing there all alone. I think right now I am in that place, I miss the time someone actually hug me and let me cry on  (........) shoulder and say to me, "things will get better, I promise, and I will always be there for you". Hmm, I guess I am just overwhelmed with emotions, that I feel I need someone to make it better. Now I know how hard it is living with secrets, a lot that I wanted to share but I can't.

Come on Naz, things will get better, just have faith.... (",). And D has been nothing but very supportive. I am grateful, thank you.