Life has a funny way of being cruel, I went back to my hometown to celebrate my birthday with my family (1st January), Julie's wedding with my matrix friends (2nd January), but end up attending my grandmother's funeral the next day. I was awakened at 3.00 a.m. by my mother telling me that my grandma has passed away. My dad immediately started his car and speed of to my village in Kuala Pilah, leaving my mother, myself and my sisters behind. That Monday was the first day of work for my eldest after 3 weeks of holiday, the 2nd day of work for my youngest at her new employment and my 3rd day in Seremban.
When my mom woke me up, there was a moment of silent on my part, not because I was taken by surprise of the news, but because I was contemplating of an urgent appointment that I have to attend on that day. I was having conflict inside of me in choosing where to go and what to do, and at that brief moment, I almost chose of going to the meeting instead of attending the funeral. That was a very unforgettable feeling, a feeling so awry, putting the value of money against the value of family. I hated myself that moment and I cried for the next hours condemning myself of even having that thought.
I went to the funeral and helped in any way I could just so that I won't feel guilty of having that loutish thought. I tried my best not to cry at the funeral but I fail, tears were trickling down my cheek when I saw each and every one of my grandmother's sons and daughters knelt and kissed her forehead. Even my cousins who are men, were not shy to show their love and feeling towards my grandmother, they cried, before, during and even after the funeral.
I do hope that I am strong enough not to have that feeling of selfishness ever again, putting a price tag on something as priceless as family.
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