A white rose

"All I want is a white rose"

Am I in denial, of what I know and about what is going to happen? It started a few days back, when a friend of mine requested on a white rose to be given to him on a certain occasion. I asked the reason why, and all he said I will know when the time is right. He kept on saying that it will finally give him the balance he needed in life. I was trying my best to avoid not prolonging the conversation, because I don't know how to answer him, he kept on talking about roses, whether it would suit with black,  and how his parents are well off without him. Life for him now is hard, and there is nothing much I can do, I hate the feeling of being helpless and sitting on the side wondering what's going to happen next. I can't get hold of him for numerous reasons, he contacted me through a chat line on facebook, and his final words were, "I miss my mom and dad".

Looking back at the conversation, I know that he meant to say good bye, I was acting dumb throughout the conversation by making stupid statements about hanging out after my tenure in JB end and all other craps, so that he will not keep thinking on suicide. I know that I upset him but in my heart I keep repeating “Dear God, please give him the strength to continue his life, please don't let him take his own life as the only way out of his problems". 

The statement that I will never forget was “One day you will beg to listen to my voice and I will not answer back, all you will have is silence". It's not like that I don't care for him, I do, but I don't want to encourage him that suicide is the final answer. The honest truth is, I don't know what to do and what to say, not even a degree or a master or the wisest justification would prepare me for this. My hope is that he will stay strong and survive, don't make me regret of not having the final conversation. When I joke that I may not be able to give him by hand and can I courier it, he said "You will not do that, I know you, you will come and I will have my white rose". 
Yesterday was our last conversation, but I do hope that he will say hello to me for the coming days.