morning people.. I'd like to ask for ur opinion..it's a what if situation here... nothing serious ok... :). If your partner (bf / fiancee / hubby) raised his hand or hit u in the head of anger, would you consider to share your life with him? I am just wondering.. (posted by a friend of mine, 9.55 a.m. 11th June 2011)
A friend of mine posted this on her facebook wall asking opinion of others, I gave my opinions, stating that;
"If a boyfriend hits you, it is a foreshadowing of what to come, if a fiancee hits you, it is something you should consider, if a husband hits you, it is time to walk away".
"Hitting should never be used to justify any reasons whatsoever".
Maybe my opinion are biased due to the feminism in me, but I never view hitting a person as a solution for anything. As for my two cents about her, I believe that she is in denial and trying hard to find the justification of the action that has been done because she questions all the opinions that were given. She doesn't accept when people say that it is not right to do so, she wanted further clarification and explanation. I guess she is looking for a specific answer that saying hitting is owkey to do, if it is being done by your love one. There is no such thing as love is blind, the only thing that is blind is the person who is using love as excuses to endure anything and to get away with everything. These people above all else like Bon Jovi said "You give love a bad name".
4 comments:
Mula2 tampar sayang. Lepas tu sepak terajang. Lepas tu, dia akan buat awak percaya yang salah awak dia pukul, bukan kerana dia ada masalah mengawal diri dia.
It is worse that he hit in anger. If a person is incapable of controlling themselves when angry, one day they won't stop with a smack. Next it will be a trip to the emergency room.
For all those who said that beating your spouse is allowed in the Al-Quran, kindly note that the provision was for Nabi Ayub to hit his wife with a bunch of grass. It is symbolic, not literal. Cuba mai pukul orang dengan seberkas lalang. Sakit ke gatal yang lebih?
It is stated in the Al-Quran and hadith that the best of you are those who are kind and gentle mannered. Kalau tangan dah naik, apa yang gentle, apa yang kind?
Tapi kalau sendiri mau tempah sakit, tolong jangan mengadu lain kali. Sekalipun dah tunang, masih boleh diputuskan. Nanti kalau dah beranak, suka ke bagi anak tengok ayah dera mak dia? Apa yang dia belajar? Belajar jadi buli?
Kalau orang berhikmah dan berhemah, tak perlu nak guna fizikal untuk menegur. Tambah lagi kalau dia angkat tangan waktu tengah angin. Bad temper or anger is never an excuse.
I kept thinking about the girl who died at the hand of her boyfriend. Her parents set up an awareness website; to inform the public about signs of an abusive relationship. She ignored the signs, thinking he will change, thinking things will be different.
And then he beat her to death.
Yes, he is in prison, but she is still dead, no? And if you exist in a relationship where there is no love without fear of being struck, God help you.
It starts with emotional abuse, and then it will escalate into physical abuse. More women die at the hands of men who profess to love them than those who were killed by perfect strangers. So tell your friend to look up for signs of an abusive relationship; if she finds more than 2 criteria that fits, she should seriously consider to leave him.
I tried actually to talk to her further in that issue, but she is very selective on the responses that she required a specific answer. So I deleted my comments.
No one in their right mind should allow themselves to be treated as a walking punching bag. Once, we said it owkey to hit, it will be a repeated action. How to educate women not to be blind to what is as obvious as an abusive relationship, when they themselves ignore the signs.
I once spoke to an ustaz about someone who kept repeating the same mistake even after I have given that person advice. He pointed out that enlightenment (in all forms) come from Allah SWT; He will give as He sees fit. Since even the Rasulullah SAW couldn't convert some of his family members, what about us poor mortals? Who are we to claim to be better at advising people than the last prophet himself?
*sigh*
That's true. Like u said we are just mere mortal but I guess the best thing to do is never to be apathetic. Maybe it needs more than just a person to remind someone of certain issues that need to be addressed.
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